Order and Rest

I write this from a dark car parked on a dark street in the middle of the night, because I am tired and my life lacks order and I have found this stillness to be reassuring. That while life around me is allowed to slosh about, I am fairly stable. Izzy is asleep in the back seat which lends me some sought after silence, enough to hear myself think. Life feels hard sometimes, but being surrounded by amazing people (pretty happy shiney people)inspires me to push through the dark lonely moments to enjoy the journey and beyond that...claim peace that outlasts it all.
From the beginning of this note to this point is the longest time I've had to catch my breath and rangle my mind to the sound of nothing but the wind since I don't remember when. But ahhhh, life IS lovely. It's just nice to have a moment to step back.
The dark car on the dark street where I sit happens to be parked in front of a home that houses my piano. I feel some tinkering coming on. If I can muster a seamless unbuckling, transferring to shoulder, walk through the cold unlocking the dark empty house laying the sweet baby to rest without awakening her, tinker is what I will do. I would like to tinker, hearing my right notes and the wrong ones, let my fingers and voice fumble about the large stringed instrument...love on it a bit while it loves on me. And, God, then I'd like to finish the last few chapters of Don Finto's Your People Shall Be My People. Then, Daddy, I'd like to look up and order his second book before I snuggle in tight to the dearest little girl I have the pleasure of knowing. I'd like to watch her eyes flutter in dreams and see her chest rise and fall.
All before I sleep.

Father, thank You or this rest.